Mama Billings - Doug's Sister - The Hangover
by Princess Weasley
Summary: Some man can't handle vegas. But what happens when Doug's twin sister goes along for the ride, plus why can't her and Phil see eye to eye. Will Petra and Phil's past trip to vegas come back to haunt them? - LJ
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I don't own the Hangover, but I do own Petra. I know a lot of people have given Doug a twin sister and given her a past with Phil, so I'm jumping on the bandwagon too. I don't like Stephanie and plus we only see her a couple of times so please no hate for what I do/or have done to her. Eli is still there, I also own Phil's daughter's name.**

* * *

**The Hangover**

"Hey, this of Doug, sorry I'm not here right now. If you could leave your name, number and a brief message, I'll get back to you."

"Hey, this is Phil. Leave me a message, or don't- but do me a favour, don't text me, it's gay."

"Hello, you've reach Dr. Stuart Price Divine Dentistry, sorry I can't pick up the phone…"

"Hello, this is Petra. Sorry I missed you, please leave a message and I'll get right back to you."

"Hello?"

"Tracy, it's Phil."

"Phil, where the hell are you guys? I'm freaky out"

" Yeah, hey listen ar we fucked up."

"What are you talking about?"

"The whole bachelor party the whole night, it's things got out of control and ar,' He paused. 'We lost Doug."

"What?"

"We can't find Doug."

"What are you saying Phil, we're getting married in five hours!"

"Yeah, that's not gonna happen."

* * *

Two Days earlier

I'm sitting there watching my soon to be sister-in-law and best friend, I always saw her as a sister, Tracy Gardner getting her last dress fitting.

"Hey Petra, Doug and I have a favour to ask of you."

"Sure Tracy, what is it?" I answer, Tracy and Doug know I'd down what ever I'm doing for them.

"We want you to go on Doug's bachelor night," Tracy states. "Doug really what's you to go because you're his twin sister."

"Say what? Wait… who's going to be there?"

"Stu, Alan, Doug, you and well Phil."

"What, oh hell no Tracy. I'd do anything for you guys, you know that but I'm not doing that. I'm not going, you and Doug know how I feel about Philip Wenneck. He broke my heart and well got me pregnant, he has never meet Eli and his not going too. I don't what him near Eli."

"We know you were going to say that, that's why I never told you who you were partnering in the wedding. Phil's the best man and you're my maid of honour. You know you can't keep Eli hidden from Phil forever and well he's the page boy at the wedding."

By now Tracy was finished with her dress fitting and we were on our way out to Doug and Alan.

"Please Petra for me and Doug, plus your bag is already packed and in the car."

"Fine for you and Doug, but I can't promise that Phil will be back or if he does come back if he's going to be in one piece."

"Thanks Petra." Tracy states, before she hugs me so tight.

"Yeah yeah, can't breathe Tracy."

Doug makes his way over to us. "Come on Tracy let Petra go or I'm not going to have a twin sister and you're not going to have a bridesmaid. We'll see tomorrow."

Tracy lets of me, then kisses Doug. Inside I'm mentally killing Tracy and Doug for this, why did Phil have to be at the wedding let alone the best man.

"Shot gun." We hear Alan call out. "You don't mind Petra?"

"No go for it Alan."

"So you ready Petra?"

I glare at Doug before. "Yea, but if Phil starts fighting with and or pissing me off I'm going to kill him got it."

"Load and clear Petra, just one thing go gentle on him. His going through a tough time right now, getting divorced and then his ex Stephanie dies in a car accident so now his rising their young daughter Ariella on his own."

"I'm not going to sympathize with him Doug, not after what he put me through; he wasn't there well I was pregnant or when I had Eli. He can go jump for all I care."

We pull up in front of the school I work at, I'm sitting there reading. I'm a little surprised that none of my students notice me. "I still can't believe Phil the jackass is a teacher and my work colleague."

"His great with kids."

"Great with kids, don't make me laugh Doug."

"Do you have to pack so close?" Alan asks, hand on his head, sliding down on the seat. Doug and I look at him.

"Yeah, what's wrong?"

"I shouldn't be here."

"Way's that Alan?"

"I'm not allowed to be 200 feet of a school."

"What?" Doug asked, shocked.

"Or a Chuck 'E' Cheese."

"Mr. Wenneck..." began a kid.

"It's the weekend, Budnick. I don't know you, you do not exist." Phil says, starting to walk up to the car.

"Doug I don't think I can do this now." I state, sticking my nose back in my book.

"You have to Petra for me please."

"But Doug, I don't think I can put up with Phil all the way to Vegas; I might end up killing him before we even get there."

"You won't."

Shit why did Doug have to know me to well, he knows that I still have feels for Phil; god even Tracy knows that.

"Shit, nice car. I'm driving." Phil states, not even noticing me which is fine by me but knowing my luck he will at some point.

"No chance," Doug starts, as Phil throws his bag in, Doug stops it hitting me. "Woah, watch the leather."

Phil being Phil climbs in the car like a gorilla.

"Will you shut and drive before one of these nerds asks me a question." He states, as he gets comfortable. "Who's this?" points towards Alan.

"Alan, Tracy's brother." Doug replied.

Alan looked back at Phil. "I've met you like four times."

"Oh yeah, how've you been man?"

I use this time to push Phil's legs off the seat, he turns shocked to see me there. "Why the hell is Petra here?"

"Hello to you too Phil," I answer, before poking my tongue out at him. "Because I'm the groom's twin sister and well Doug want's me here, right Doug?"

"Yes, just play nice you two just until after the wedding."

"Fine, anyhow can we please just go and get Stu so I can get as far away from asshole here." I shot back at Doug.

"Fine call me an asshole you whore."

"You know what I'm not going even start with you Phil." I say, putting in my ear buds and turning up my iPod as load as I can so I can't hear Phil yelling at me.

I lost track of time because the next thing I know was Phil pulling out one of my ear buds. I glare at him before spotting Stu on the other side of him. "OH MY GOD STU, I didn't see you there." I reach over Phil and give Stu a hug. As I pull away I stop my iPod and pull out my other ear bud.

"Hey, why didn't I get a hug?" Phil asks, clearly pissed off.

"It's all good Petra. So hey how is Eli going?" Stu asks.

"Eli's great. His so into soccer right now, it's soccer this and soccer that. I had to change his bedroom around the other day in a soccer theme well he was at school to surprise him. He loved it." I answer, it's so nice to have someone ask how my little man is going not even his father asked me how he was making me a bit upset and mad but then again Phil does know or seem to care that he even had a son. I saw Doug look at me in the mirror knowing that I was a bit hurt before notice Phil looking at me oddly. "What Philip Wenneck?"

"How can you fit into those sort of clothes after you had a baby?"

"Oh can you be any less of a pervert, Phil.' Rolling my eyes at his comment as I pull out a jacket and put it on, not even thinking about the fact it's Phil's old leather jacket "What are you looking at me like that now for?"

"Is that my old leather jacket? I've been looking for it for years."

"Am I alright on that side Alan?" Doug asked.

"Yeah, you're good."

Doug pulled into the next lane and we were almost hit by a truck. I was in Phil's lap before you could say Honey I'm home.

"That was awesome." Alan laughed.

"That was not awesome." Doug yelled back.

"What is wrong with you? We almost died." Stu adds.

"You shoulda seen your face." Alan states, looking at Doug.

"That's funny." said Phil chuckling, I smack him as I sit back where I was.

Phil then leans over and whispers in my ear. "I knew you still have feelings for me…" I don't even let Phil finish.

"Oh god Doug please pull over, I can't stand it." I yell, luckily for me Doug does pull over to get gas; Alan filling the car the rest of us go inside to get same stuff to eat and drink.

As I was stand there trying to work out what to get Phil walks past brushing up against me. What the hell is he trying to do, make me what to kill him. I watch him walk up to the counter, I start to think about what Tracy and Doug said earlier; maybe Tracy was right maybe Phil does want to be a part of Eli's life. I can't really keep hiding him after the wedding. Then again Phil did come to see me in the hospital after I had Eli, he even bought my favorite flowers with him when no one else's even knows what they are. What if he wanted to be a part of Eli's life back then.

'No, no. But did Tracy did mention we shouldn't let him gamble or drink too much." I hear Doug say as I walk up to the counter.

"He's like a gremlin. He comes with instructions and shit." Phil said, as I put stuff on the counter and steal some of Phil's chips.

"And one water." Stu states, setting a water in the counter.

"All good with Melissa?" Doug asks.

"Oh yeah, I told her we're two hour outside of wine country and she bought it." Stu answers. "Plus she just thinks it's us guys no Petra."

"Don't you think it's kind of strange you've been in a relationship for three years and you still have to lie about going to Vegas?" Phil questions.

"Yeah I do, but trust me it's not worth the fight." Stu shot back.

"Oh so you can't go to Vegas but she can fuck a bellhop on a carnival cruise line?"

Oh my god did Phil have to go there in the middle of a gas station.

"He was a bartender and she was wasted and if you must know he didn't even cum inside her."

"And you believe that?"

"Uh yeah I do believe that believe that because she's grossed out by seaman."

"That's be $32.50." the Cashier said, she looked a little grossed out.

I quickly pay saying sorry before walking out the door yelling back a Stu. "No women can be grossed out by seaman… unless it's Phil's." I could tell Phil was glaring at me, as I walked quickly back to the car getting in and putting my ear buds back in.

* * *

It was twilight when we got to Caesar's Palace. Phil being Phil again tried to chat up two ladies as they walked out, I just rolled my eyes. We head in and up to the front deck.

"Can I help you?" the front deck lady asked.

"Yes, we have reservations under Dr. Price." Stu states.

"Let me have a look."

"Dr. Price? Stu, you're a dentist, don't get all fancy. He's a dentist, so if anyone has a heartache, you should still call 911." Phil pipes up.

"I'll be sure to do that." she says, all flirty; oh god why do all females fall for Phil's charm. "You have a two bed room on the eighth floor."

"Well if we're sharing, I'm bunking with Phil. You cool with that?" Alan states, looking at Phil; I had to hide my laughter.

"No, I'm not cool with that. What are we, twelve? Plus we have Petra with us." he began. "Look, Lisa, do you have any villas available?"

"We have one that is available for forty-two hundred a night." She answers.

"We'll take it." I snap, at her not trying to be mean but I really would love to get away from Phil and I don't really want to end up sharing a bed with him again. Plus Phil is right I don't really what to share a bed with any of them.

I stopped listening again until I hear Stu freaking out that Melissa checks his statements. I just shake my head and hand over my credit card.

"You own my one Stu." I state, as Phil grabs the room keys and start walking off so I yell at him."And so do you Phil."

Doug starts complaining that I can't afford it being a single mum working two jobs just so we can get by.

'It's Fine, Doug. Stu and Phil can just pay me back.'

Phil just waves his hand, so I skip up to him and take one of the keys throwing it at Doug before walking in front of Phil to try to piss him off.

"If you're trying to piss me off, Petra it's not going to happen."

I turn around and poke my tongue at him for the second time that day, then Doug and Stu start freaking out about me walking backwards. Good think to because I bump into a bellhop coming out of an elevator, Phil grabs hold of my wrist before I go fly backwards and pulls me back into his arms. I quickly pull away from him and step into the elevator and stand between Doug and Stu. We found our room, that's huge, it has four rooms… great looks like two of us a bunking.

"Good pick Phil, upgrading to a villa." I state, before going to pick a room.

"Glad you like, Petra." I hear Phil call after me. "Alright, pick a room and get ready ladies, we leave in thirty minutes… That includes you Petra."

I just roll my eyes, does he not remember that I can be ready ten minutes before him, as I throw my bag on the bed and open it… just great Tracy packed my bag, what was she trying to do make me get laid. She even packed my maid of honour dress and shoes… was she thinking we weren't going to be back in time or something. I look at the time on my phone, crap I just spend ten minutes going through my bag to work out what to wear. I go have a quick shower, dress and quickly put my hair up a messy bun luckily my hair is curly, as I was putting on my make-up on my phone starts ringing. It's my mum, she's probable ringing so Eli could say goodnight so I answer it.

"Hey, mum." I say, heading back into my room to walk straight smack bang into a shirt-less Phil.

"What the hell?" I mouth at him.

"Hey, Mummy."

"Oh Eli, sorry I thought it was grandma." I state, before mouthing to Phil if he could help me with the zipper on my dress, as Eli said night to me and asked if I could say night to Uncle Doug. "Sure think honey I'll say night to Uncle Doug for you. Night sweetheart."

I hang up as Phil zips up my dress, he then just leaves his hands on my back. "Get your hands off me Philip Wenneck."

"OK ok." He states, put his hands up in front of him. "So how is Eli?"

"Can we talk about Eli at a later date please Phil, now is not the time or place." I answer, a bit shocked that he even was asking about Eli. "Plus you hear me tell Stu in the car, how Eli is."

"To hell with that, I want to talk about Eli now. I want to know about him, he's still my son. I will ask about my damn son anytime I damn well please." Phil growls, I never seen him this mad before not even when we broke up.

"No his not you give up that right long before I even know I was pregnant because you broke up with me." I shot back, as Phil puts his shirt on doing it up and grabbing the jacket he was wearing for the night.

"Fine, your right now is not the time." He growl, as he walks out the door before sticking he's head back in. "But we will talk about Eli at one point later on."

"Whatever." I say, under my breath looking around the room spying Phil's bag… great looks like I have to bunk with Phil, at least if he pisses me off to much well we're out I'll just grab a new room away from the boys.

I check myself over on the mirror before head to Stu's room. Stu was still not ready because he was on the phone to… ah Melissa, while Phil was lounged on the bed and Doug was sitting in one of the chairs. I slowly walk in before I don't know what I was doing I end up sitting on the bed next Phil.

"Where's Alan?" Stu asks, after getting off the phone.

"He's out getting something." Doug replied.

"Good, because I have something to show you guys." Stu states, doing awkward poses with each word before pulling out a box.

"What is that?" Asked Phil, looking at Stu.

"What do you think it is?" Doug states.

"It's a fucking mistake." Phil answers.

"You know what, I'm going to agree with Phil there." I said leaning on him.

"I'm going to propose to Melissa at your wedding, after the ceremony."

"She fucked a waiter." Phil adds, hoping to change Stu's mind.

"He wasn't a waiter, he was a bartender, Phil you know that." I state, I can't stand Melissa after what she called me, yes I get Phil calling me a whore but deep down I know he doesn't mean it but with Melissa she means it.

"That's his fiancé." Doug states, hitting both me and Phil on the foot.

"It's my grandmother's ring, she made it the whole way through the Holocaust with it." Stu states.

"She's not worth it." Phil states.

"Hey guys, are you ready to let the dogs out? "asked Alan, standing at the door.

"What?" we ask, confused.

"You know, who let the dogs out." Alan said.

"Yes Alan, we're ready to let the dogs out." Doug states, before turning to Stu. "Well, congrats man."

We all head to the elevator, when we got there; there was a man and a lady who looks like a hooker in it.

"We're going up." He said, checking me out.

"Perfect, so are we." Phil said, as we hop in.

I could feel the guy's eyes on me so I grab hold of Phil's hand which he ends up wrapping around my waist, pulling me closer so I lean into him for good measure. So Phil obviously of noticing the guy checking me out too, I think the guy might think I'm a hooker or something seen I'm with four guys. I end up kissing Phil's cheek and playing with his hair, like I use to until the guy and his hooker girlfriend get off.

* * *

"I'm just saying, it's clearly marked, okay? We are definitely not supposed to be up here." Stu was complaining, as he held the door open for Doug, myself and Alan.

"Come on Stu, we're paying for a villa. We can do whatever the fuck we want." Phil said.

"Yeah, but…"

"Oh, Stu live a little." I say, before heading over to Phil.

"See Petra agrees. Just wedge the door open." Phil smiles, then points at a ladder indicating for me to go up first.

"No."

"And why not?"

"A – I'm wearing heels and B – You'll look up my dress, so I'll go up last." I state, taking off my shoes so I don't break the heels of them.

"As in the dress I bought you." Phil states, before starting to head up the ladder but stops.

"Shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick Phil." I shot back, Phil takes my purse and shoes from me and climbs the ladder. 'Plus you bought me this whole outfit." Knowing that he didn't hear the last bit.

"Guys, come up here."

Doug looks at me as to say "Where did your shoes and purse go?" I just point up and mouthing Phil. As soon as the guys go up I follow.

"How the hell did you find this place?" Doug ask, as I sit down on the wall.

"Don't worry about it." Phil answers, handing my purse smiling then puts my shoes back on my feet for me.

"Whoa. Are you kidding?" Stu states "Look at the view up here."

Phil pulls me up before whispering in my ear. "You remember the last time we were up here?" I just nod, wanting to be sick. How can I not. But how in the hell did Phil remember that night, the last time I was on the roof of Caesar's Palace with Phil was the night I fell pregnant with Eli. Phil and I were here to celebrating our fourth anniversary of dating and the last. Phil turned away.

"Alan, how we doing, buddy?"

"Good."

"What do you have over there, Alan?" Doug asked, as Alan began to walk towards us and Phil winking at me.

"A little Jagermeister, good idea."

"Good call." Stu adds.

"On the roof?" I question.

"No, this is good. I'd like to make a toast," Stu answers. "To Doug and Tracy. May tonight be but a minor speed bump in an otherwise very long and healthy marriage. Cheers."

"Cheers."

"Oh, it's just like college." Doug states, after downing his shot.

"All right. I wanna talk about something," Phil starts.

"I'd like to," Alan interrupts. "I'd like to say something… that I prepared for tonight."

"All right, Alan." Stu said, I look at Phil sympathetic.

"Hello, how was that ride in? I guess that's why they call in Sin City. Haha." Alan starts, Phil and I look at each other and shrug. "You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of myself of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack. But when my sister bought Doug and Petra home from college, I knew they were two of my own. And my wolf pack, it grew by two. So there were three of us in the wolf pack. I was alone first in the pack and then Doug and Petra joined later. And six months ago… when Doug introduced me to Phil and Stu, I thought: "Wait a second. Could it be?" And now, I know for sure. I just added two more guys to my wolf pack."

"All right?"

"Five of us wolves… running around the desert together in Las Vegas… looking for strippers and cocaine. So tonight… I make a toast." He states, raising a knife and slicing the palm of his hand. "Blood brothers."

"Dude, what the fuck?" Phil asks, pulling me behind him.

"Alan, no we're not cutting ourselves." Doug states, as Alan holds the knife out to Stu.

"No, I'm not doing that."

"Go ahead, Stuart."

"Make him stop." I nearly shout, from inside Phil's arms.

"Give me the knife." Doug said. "Give me the knife. Slowly. Thank you."

"You all right? Are you okay?" Phil asks, still holding me to calm me down. I was shaking like a leave. "Do you need a doctor?"

Alan shook his head, he was fine.

"He's fine, he's good." Doug states.

"I'm good"

"Perfect. Alan, come here buddy." Phil said, pulling us into a tight circle.

"Get in here, crazy." Stu adds, as Phil pours us another shot.

"All right, to a night the five of us of will never forget."

* * *

**A/N: All of Petra's outfits will be listed in our profile.**

**Feel free to reveiw. Chapter two will be up very soon!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I don't own the hangover, but I do own Petra. I know a lot of people have given Doug a twin sister and given her a past with Phil, so I'm jumping on the bandwagon too. I don't like Stephanie and plus we only see her a couple of times so please no hate for what I do/or have done to her. Eli is still there, I also own Phil's daughter's name.**

**Also as before all of Petra's outfits will be listed in our profile.**

* * *

The sun was shining in on me so I slowly open my eyes, the room was trashed. I close my eyes again hoping it was all a dream but then someone wrapped their arm around me and starting to mumble into my hair. Okay now I'm freaking out… I hope it's not Phil, I didn't really need this right now. Next thing I know was Alan tripping over the person next me and me.

"Control yourself man! God damn would you put on some pants!" groaned Phil, sitting up, clutching his stomach. Crap it was Phil that had their arm around me.

"There's a tiger in the bathroom!" Alan shouted. "Phil, don't go in the bathroom.'

"What's going on?" I heard Stu call.

"There's a jungle cat in the bathroom." Alan shouted again, trying to cover his privates with his t-shirt.

"No there's not." Stu states.

I look at Phil, who stood up in just his pants from last night.

"Okay, okay, Al. Al, I'll check it out.'

"Don't go in Phil.' Alan said, he was hysterically. 'Don't go in.'

I get up and notice I was wearing just my undies, and well Phil's shirt and jacket from last night. I go over to the couch and sit down.

"Oh! Holy fuck! He's not kidding!" Phil shouts, after he looked.

Phil starts to head towards Stu and I, pulling a shirt on as he does. "You okay, buddy?"

"No, I am in so much pain right now."

"Goddamn, look at this place.' I state, as Phil sits next to me grabbing a can of monster from the table, I feel like throwing up as he has a mouthful.

"I know. Petra, they have your credit card downstairs. You're so screwed." Stu states, well Alan was still hysterically about the tiger.

"Hey bro," Phil calls, I put my head in my hands. "You mind putting on some pants? I find it a little weird that I had to ask twice. What the fuck happened last night?"

"Hey, Phil, Petra, am I missing a tooth?" Stu asks, out of the blue.

"I can't… oh shit," Phil starts, but covers his mouth.

Stu grabs the nearest object that was a silver tray to look at his reflection. "Oh my god! My lateral incisor it's gone."

"Alan, go wake Doug." Phil shouts, well I'm got my left hand over my mouth to hold in the laugher at Stu.

"I look like a nerdy hillbilly." Stu states, still looking at his reflection, as that I couldn't keep from laughing. Stu just glares at me before shouting. "Petra you got married last night!"

"Crap! No this can't be happening!" Okay now I'm really freaking out, Phil looks a little hurt.

"Hey guys," Alan interrupted, great timing Alan, thanks not. "Doug's not in his room."

"Did you check all the rooms?" I ask.

"Yeah, I looked everywhere. Plus, his mattress is gone."

I start to hyperventilate, getting up I quickly go and shut myself in my room, slamming the door. Phil must have followed me because I heard him. "Petra, come on, it's going to be alright," he walks in the room closing the door behind him. "We'll find Doug."

"It's not just that Phil." I state, putting on some clothes.

"Then what else is it?"

"I'm married to someone I don't know. I promised myself I'd never get married to anyone until I know for sure I could trust who ever I was dating to not freak out about me having a kid and well want to meet him and love him like he was their own."

"Petra, hey it's fine. Come here." Phil says, pulling me into him. "We'll just get your marriage annulled and no one needs to know."

"Your right Phil," I look up at him and smile. "No one needs to know."

We walk back out of the room.

"Let's just get some coffee, get my marriage annulled and get the fuck out of Nevada before housekeeping shows." I state.

"Guys what about Doug?" Alan asks.

"He's probably went down to the pool to get something to eat," Phil states. "I'll just call his cell."

Phil rings Doug's call, well Stu is still obsessing over his tooth.

"Hello?"

"Alan."

We all look at Alan.

"Hey."

"It's Phil."

"Oh, Hey Phi… This is Doug's phone."

"No shit." I say, thinking can this day get any worse? Answer was a big fucking yes, it was then that we heard a cry.

"What the fuck was that?" Stu asked.

We all head to a closet, Alan opens the door, to a baby.

"Whose fucking baby is that?" Phil questions.

"Petra?" Alan asks.

"It's not Petra's, Alan." Phil states, before asking. "Are yu sure you didn't see anyone else in the suite, Alan?"

"Yeah, I checked all the rooms." Alan states. "Check it's collar or something?"

"Alan it's a baby not a dog or tiger." I hiss.

"We don't have time for this," Phil states. "Let's go meet up with Doug and we'll deal with the baby later."

I give him a look. "Phil, we're not gonna leave a baby in the room, there's a fucking tiger on the bathroom."

"It's not our baby."

"So, if say it was Eli or Ariela in a closet you'd leave them in the room with a tiger in the bathroom?"

"Yeah, I gotta side with Petra on this one, Phil" Stu speaks up.

"All right, fine. Okay, we'll take it with us." Phil lets out a sigh of defeat. "Could you at least find some pants?" He says turning to Alan.

* * *

"Why can't we remember a goddamn thing from last night," Stu asked, well we were waiting in the elevator. Phil and I were leaning against the back of it, Alan was carrying the baby, while Stu had any towel with ice in it up to his mouth.

"Because, we obviously had a great fucking time," Phil states. "Why don't you just stop worrying for one minute. Be proud of yourself."

"I don't know Phil, maybe because I'm missing a tooth, or maybe it's because there a tiger in our hotel room, oh no wait I know maybe it's because we found a baby, a human baby that's it, that's it, it's because we found a fucking baby."

"Oh, he's so cute. What's his name?" asks some lady that happened to step into the elevator after Stu's little rant.

"Ben." Phil sighs.

"Carlos." Replies Alan.

She looks at me.

"His name is Ben Carlos." I state.

* * *

We end up sitting a table by the pool as Stu goes to look for Doug.

"Hey, Phil look." Alan said, Phil looks over after taking a sip of coffee to see what Alan wants. I have my head on the table, Phil rubs my neck with his free hand, so I swat him away. "He's jacking his little weenis."

"Pull yourself together, man." Phil states, after chuckling a little.

"Not at the table, Carlos."

"I've looked everywhere. Gym, casino, front desk. Nobody has seen Doug. He's not here." Stu states, sitting down.

"He's fine. He's a grown man," Phil said, handing a glass of orange juice to Stu. "Seriously, Stu, you gotta calm down. Here, have some juice."

Stu throws up. "I can't have juice right now."

"Okay, all right, let's just track this thing." Phil said, pulling out a pen and starts writing on a napkin. "What was the last thing we remember doing last night?"

"Well the first thing, was we were on the roof and we were having shots of Jager." Alan states.

"And then we ate dinner at the Palm, right?" I say.

"That's right, and then we played craps at the Hard Rock, and I think Doug was there."

"That sounds right. No, no, he was definitely there." Phil adds, writing that down.

"You know what, guys? I don't even remember going to dinner." Stu states.

"I know. What the fuck? I don't think I've been this hung-over." Phil sighs, leaning back in his chair.

"After the hard Rock, I blacked out. It was like emptiness." Alan laughs.

"Okay. We have up to until 10pm, so that gives us a 12 hour window where we could of lost Doug." I say, looking a Phil's napkin as Alan pulls something out of his pocket.

"What is this?" he asks, holding up something white.

"Oh my god, that is my tooth. Why do you have it? What else is in your pockets?"

"This is a good thing. No, check your pockets, guys." Phil states, reaching in his pockets. "Petra, your purse."

"I have an ATM receipt from the Bellagio," Stu freaks out. "11:0pm for eight hundred dollars! I am so fucked."

"I have a VIP ticket from a strip club…" I said, pulling it out of Phil's jacket looking at him. "I so hope that's yours."

"I have a valet ticket from Caesars. Looks like we got in at 5:15am." Alan said.

"Oh shit, we drove last night?" Phil say, brushing his hand through his hair as Alan laughs.

"Driving drunk. Classic." Alan stops. "What's on your arm?"

"Jesus." Phil said, looking at his arm.

"Phil, you were to the hospital last night?" Stu states.

"I guess so, yeah."

"You okay?" Alan asked seriously.

"Yeah Alan I'm fine."

"What the hell is going on?" Stu asks.

"Stu, this a good thing. We have a lead now." I state, grabbing Phil's arm pointing at the hospital band.

"Hey Stu, watch this." Alan said, making the baby look like he was jacking off again. Stu chuckles. "Have you ever seen a baby do that?"

"Dude, Alan, not cool."

* * *

**A/N: Feel free to review. Chapter three will be up soon!**


	3. AN

**A/N: So, I have updated the first chapter of the story a bit to make it a little bit more interesting. I added one of Petra's jobs.**


	4. Chapter 3

A/N: I don't own the Hangover, but I do own Petra. I know a lot of people have given Doug and twin sister and given her a past with Phil, so I'm jumping to the bandwagon too. I don't like Stephanie and plus we only see her a couple of times so please no hate for what I do/ or have done to her. Eli is still there, I also own Phil's daughter's name.

* * *

So Stu, Alan with the baby and I wait well Phil gave a Valet attendant the ticket.

"So… uh… are you sure you're qualified to be taking care of a baby?" Stu asked, Alan.

"What are you talking about? I've found a baby before."

"You found a baby before?"

"Yeah."

"Where?"

"Coffee Bean."

Just then Phil walked up to us, handing me a coffee. "Here, one Caffé latte with two shots, light milk with a hint of chocolate and caramel; if I remember correctly.'

I nod, taking the coffee before having a sip; mmm wow, I can't believe Phil remembered how I have my coffee. I turn away so he doesn't see my blush.

"Hey, Phil? I don't think Doug would want us to take the Mercedes."

"Relax, we'll be careful." Phil assures him.

"My dad is crazy about that car. He left Doug in charge."

"Alan, we've got bigger problems here. Doug could be in the hospital, he could be hurt."

That's when I heard the beeping, I turn to see a crane. "Uh, guys? Check it out. Is that the mattress from Doug's room?"

"What the fuck?" Stu questions.

"Hey man, what's going on?" Phil asked, a guy near us.

"Some asshole threw his bed out the window last night," He answered, shut the boot of his car.

"No shit."

"Yeah, some guys just can't handle Vegas."

"How the hell did we manage that?" Stu asked, after the guy leaved.

Well we were still looking at the mattress the valet attendant pulled up in front of us. "Here's your car officers."

Stu started to overreact again when we see the car so I put a hand over he's mouth.

"All right, everyone act cool. Don't say a word, let's just get in and go." Phil said, putting on his sunglasses before walking around to the driver's side. "Stu, you got a five."

"No."

"I'll hit you on the way back."

Stu helped Alan by opening the door. The baby started to cry.

"Oh my god. You just nailed the baby."

"Are my glasses okay?" Alan asked.

"Your glasses are fine, dick." Stu shot back, looking at him in disbelief.

* * *

Now we were stuck in traffic, I still had a headache because Phil had started to honk the horn.

"This is so illegal." Stu started to complain again.

"Can't you see the fun part in anything?" Phil asked, looking over me at Stu.

"Yeah, we're stuck in traffic in a stolen police car, with what it is sure to be a missing baby in the back seat. Which part of this is fun?" Stu questioned, I was getting sick and tired of listening to Stu complaining the whole time.

"I think the cop car part is pretty cool." Alan piped up.

"Thank you, Alan. It is cool, Doug would love it." Phil finished. "Come on, Check this out." He turned on the siren and drive onto the sidewalk.

"No, don't do this." I said, know that he wouldn't listen and plus if it got me one step close to finding Doug then fine, I'll just let the jackass do whatever he wanted.

"Just try to call more attention to us." Stu said, being sarcastic.

"Attention," Phil was now calling over the PA. "Attention, please, move out of the way. I repeat, please disperse."

"Phil, stop the car. I wanna get out. Stop the car, I wanna get out. Pull over.' Stu was panicking.

"Ma'am in the leopard dress, you have an amazing rack." Phil said over the PA, at a blonde walking past.

"Phil stop the car now." I yell at him, he was starting to frustrate me.

"I should have been a cop." Phil, said now going back onto the street.

* * *

"Look, I already told you. You came in with a mild concussion, some bruised ribs. No big deal. Although none of you could articulate how it happened." said the doctor, who attended to Phil last night, well he was checking one of his patients.

"Do you remember how many of us were here?" I asked.

"I think it was just you four, definitely no baby and one other guy."

"That's our guy," Stu states. "Was he okay?"

"Yeah, he was fine. Just whacked out of his mind. You all were." he said, before turning towards his patient. "Alright, come forward. And turn, all right."

He pulls down the elder man's underpants, causing Phil, Stu and myself to turn a look at the door. "There you go. And cough, cough, cough and give me one more. All right, thattaboy," He said. "Okay, Felix, you can put your robe on, and the nurse will be in to see you in a minute. I'll see you after the weekend."

The doctor stood up shook his head. "Guys, I really gotta go. I'm sorry." he said, washing his hands.

"I know, but we just need a couple more minutes of your time." Phil states, taking a bill out of his wallet and holding it in front of the doctor.

"Yeah, tuck it right in there. I don't want to re-sterilize. Walk with me."

* * *

"Okay, here we go. Patient name, Phil Wenneck, 2:45am arrival, Minor concussion, like I said. Some bruising. Pretty standard."

"Do you mind if I look? I'm actually a doctor." Stu said, reaching for the file.

"Yeah, you said that several times last night. But really, you're just a dentist." said the doctor, pulling the file out of Stu's reach. "Okay, this is interesting. Your blood work came in this morning. Wow," he said, looking at the file again. "They found a large amount of Ruphylin in your system,"

"Ruphylin?" Phil asks.

"Ruphylin. Ruphies. Commonly known as the date-rape drug, Phil." I answer, only to have Phil, the doctor, Stu and Alan look at me. "What, I'm a nurse."

"What, so, what are you saying, I was raped last night." Phil asked, trying to make a joke out of it.

The doctor quickly looked at Phil's file again, Scaring Phil, Stu and myself again. "I don't think so, but someone did slip you the drug. I'm not surprised you don't remember anything."

"Doc, none of us can remember anything from last night. Remember." Alan states, looking at us.

"Yeah. How could someone have drugged all of us?" asked Phil.

"I wouldn't worry about it guys, by now the stuff's out of you system. You're gonna be fine, I have to go."

"Wait, please, doctor. It there anything else," Stu asked. "Like, something we may have been talking about, or someplace we were going."

"Actually, there was something. You guys kept talking about some wedding last night."

"Yeah, no shit. Our buddy Doug's getting married tomorrow."

"You know what? I want the 100 back." Phil said, reaching for the doctor's pocket; the doctor put his hand up.

"No, no easy. You kept talking about some wedding you just came from. At the, uh, Best Little Chapel. You kept saying how sick the wedding was and getting all crazy about it." he said. "Okay, I hope this help. I really have to leave."

"Best Little Chapel, do you know where that is?" Phil asked, about to write it down on the napkin.

"I do. It's at the corner of get a map and fuck off," he said. "I'm a doctor, not a tour guide. Figure it out yourself okay? You're big guys now."

* * *

A/N:Don't forget also I said ones before all of Petra's outfits are listed in our profile. Plus I put Petra's other job in this chapter.

Feel free to review. Chapter four will be up very soon!


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: I don't own the hangover but I do own Petra. As before Petra's outfits are listed in our profile. Fell free to review. Chapter 5 up soon!**

* * *

We pulled into a parking lot out of Best Little Chapel. Time to see who I married last night.

"What about the baby?" Alan asked.

"Just leave him in the car."

"Whoa Phil, we're not leaving a baby in the car." Stu snapped.

"He'll be fine. I cracked the window."

We head inside.

"What if they don't remember us," Stu asked, starting to sound worried.

"Let's find out."

We spot a guy and a woman.

"Excuse me, sir?"

"Look at these guys," the guy laughed, when he sees us. "What happened? You miss me? You miss Eddie? You want more from me?" He hugs us, before pointing at Stu. "This guy is fucking crazy."

"Him?" I ask, shocked.

"Yeah, thought he was gonna eat my dick." Eddie said. "What happened? No love for Eddie? You don't hug me?"

"No, it's not that, Eddie," Stu explains. "Uh, it's just that we're having a hard time remembering what happened here last night."

"Yeah, was there a wedding here? Do you do weddings here?" Alan adds.

"We're looking for our buddy Doug," I say. "Do you remember him?"

"Yeah, the small guy. Like a monkey."

"You saw him?" Phil asks.

"Of course."

"Is there anything you can tell us about what may have happened last night?" asked Stu.

"You don't remember nothing?"

Eddie walked over to the counter before pulling out two wedding albums and placing them in front of me and Stu.

Stu opened his first.

"Congratulations Stu, you got married," said Alan.

"This… this can't be happening." Stu mumbled, as I opened the cover of my album before slamming it shut and almost throwing it at Phil.

"I'll tell you one thing man, you look seriously happy here." Phil said, I look over his shoulder.

"Much happier than you would if you were to marry Melissa." I add.

"That's it, my life is over." Stu started to complain again.

"Fine Stu, Melissa's not gonna know anything about this." I sigh.

The woman walked in carrying a box.

"What all that?" asked Alan.

"The High Roller package," Eddie said. "It's what you guys ordered. I have coffee mugs, baseball caps."

"Wait… wait, look Eddie we all made a huge mistake last night. We need to get both marriages annulled immediately. You do annulments?" Phil states.

"Of course, it breaks my heart and make me very sad; but it's no problem. Gonna make a very good price for you. I can't do it with just him, though." Eddie said, pulling out some papers. 'I need the chick… Jade, I need both parties."

I saw out of the corner of my eye Phil looking at my wedding album, before signing his half of the paperwork that Eddie put in front of him then slides it across the counter to me. I pick up the pen to sign the paper but I hesitate; pen over the line were I have to sign. I drop the pen and run out of the Chapel.

"Petra… what the hell!" Phil shouts from behind me, grabbing my arm turning me to face him.

"I can't sign it Phil."

"Why not?"

"Because," I sigh, I can't believe I'm going to have to repeat what I said this morning. Also letting my feelings for Phil out. "Of what I said this morning Phil and I still love you! I can't bring myself to sign it because who better to be a father to Eli then his real father."

"You meant what you said this morning?"

"For crying out load Phil yes."

Phil just looked at me for a bit.

"So your letting me meet my son?"

"Yes. Oh ar… maybe when we get back so my dad and brother don't kill you, we just say we got engaged."

"Sure." Phil said, with a huge smile on his face.

Oh god I need to wipe that smile off his face. Just then Stu and Alan came out with the box of stuff from Stu and Jade's wedding.

"Hey, guys what about my dad's car?"

"I'm sure Doug has it." Phil and I answer together.

"I vote we torch the cop car and all this shit with it." Stu said.

"Torch it?" I ask shocked. "Who are you and what have you done with Stu?"

"I don't know," answered Stu. "Apparently I'm the guy who marries complete strangers. This whole situation is completely fucked. These mugs,"

He grabs a mug throwing it on the ground, smashing it. "This hat,"

He then takes the hat that Alan was wearing and throws it on the ground too. "This car, it's all evidence of a night that never happened. That's why we're torching all of it."

"Whoa, Petra and I are schoolteachers. We are now married and we have a family," Phil paused, wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me into him. "Okay? I'm all for secrecy, but I'm not gonna torch a fucking cop car."

"Fine, I'll do it."

"Can I help?"

"Yeah Alan, thanks."

I check on the baby as a phone begins to ring.

"Is it Doug?"

"I don't have it."

"It's Doug, it's Doug."

"Uh, it's Melissa." Stu groaned, as Phil slams the trunk closed.

"Don't answer it." Phil said, hoping into the car next to me.

"I have to she's called twice already," Stu answers, I roll my eyes. "Hey sweetheart, how are you?"

_"There you are. This is the third time I've tried to call you."_

"I know, the reception up here is crazy. I think it's all the sequoia trees, blocking the signal."

_"Ugh, I hate that. So how was last night?"_

"Ah, it was really fun. Actually it was quiet, but it was a good time."

_"That sounds nice."_

"It would be so cool if I could breast-feed, you know." Alan said, as he was playing with the baby.

Phil looks at Alan in confusion before looking at me.

"Well, listen… we're about to go on a tractor ride. I should get going."

A bright orange sports car pulls up behind our, blocking us from pulling out. I nod my head towards the back of the car, Phil turns.

"What the fuck."

_"A tractor ride."_

Then two guys got out of the sports car, one holding a bat; they walked around the car hitting it.

"Get out of the car." One yells.

_"What was that?"_

"They just started up the tractor. I think it backfired." Stu said, still on the phone to Melissa. I glare at him through the rear-view mirror.

"Where the hell is he." the other guys yells.

Phil and I look at each other.

"Hey easy, easy," Phil answers. "I think we're looking for the same guy, okay?"

The one with the bat swung and smashes it on the windshield.

"Hey, what the hell man." Phil yells, some glass from the windshield had gotten all over Phil and myself; the baby then started to cry.

_"What the fuck, Stu? It that a baby?"_

"Why would there be a baby? We're at a winery, that's a goat." Stu state, before hit the cage behind me. "Sir, can you please start the tractor so we can get out of here?"

I glare at him for the second time in about ten minutes.

"He's trying to, but we're fucking blocked." Phil shouts at Stu, before mouthing sorry to me.

_"Oh my God! What the hell is happening Stu?"_

One of the guys pulls out a gun, well the other one hits the windshield again making Phil shield me to avoid getting more glass on me.

"Where the hell is he." the guy with the gun shouts.

"He's got a gun!" Alan shouts.

"No shit Alan." I yell, not caring now if Melissa knows I'm there or not.

_"What the fuck Stu, was that Petra?"_

"What no, why would Petra be here?"

"Why you making trouble for my business, man. Go away from here." said Eddie, standing outside the chapel with a golf club.

"Hey! There's a baby in here." Alan shouted.

_"Someone just said baby."_

"It's a baby goat," Stu states, I glare at him again. "I gotta call you back. Bye."

"Fuck this." I start the car and up driving over the guy's foot, causing him to shoot Eddie in the shoulder.

"Fuck," Phil was now swearing. "Shit."

"He shot me." we heard Eddie screaming.

"He shot Eddie." Stu screamed.

"Fuck this shit." I said, putting the car in reverse, driving into the sports car then a bus stop before onto the road.

"What the fuck is going on." Stu screamed.

"I have no idea." Phil answered, Stu's phone started to ring again. "Why don't you just let that one go to voicemail."

Stu laughed sarcastically. "That was a fake laugh by the way."


End file.
